The tears force from my eyes though I fight to hold them
back. My Mom changes into dry diapers
and clothes, ashamed that she may have wet the seat of my car. I don’t care
about the seats of my car and I relax a bit as I realize that my Mom will
quickly forget these events. I realize that one day, she will forget me. But
not yet. Not yet.
Walking down the beautiful hall to her suite, that we call her apartment, it occurred to me that she would pass away while a resident of this hall. It is a very nice place, but it is still a last stop nursing home; assisted living, whatever. It is, her last home.
The love lived by my Mom knows no bounds. All that I
learned early in life about love I learned in our family; the family born
through her blood, sweat and tears. The family held together by her wisdom, her
work and her will; and the family that one day, must carry on without her.
My tears run for what must come. We remember even as she
forgets. Our names that she barely recalls now, will one day claim space on a
stone marker like hers. Eileen Stenner Kendrick – a girl born to Ellen Jane
Robinson, mistakenly thought to be Nellie Black, of Belfast, Ireland, and
Camden, New Jersey and Franz Joseph Stenner of Koenigstein, Germany and Camden,
New Jersey. On a great day, May 7, 1923, Eileen entered this world and on a sad
day to come, she will leave us. She will join her Lord and Savior Jesus on that
day and we will rejoice.
As dinner time rolled by and I just wanted to stay with
her, I turned on NCIS which has been her favorite TV show. Over the last 3
years we have watched 9 years of reruns on DVD over and over and over again.
And each time the next episode came on she would say, “I’ve never seen this one
before.” Alzheimers is like that. While at her apartment I found a note that
she left for the workers in the facility… it is written by her beautiful though
somewhat shaky hands, “Please, please, please don’t take any more clothes. I
just have enough to work in decently. Eileen. All were given to me by our loved
ones because they were needed.” She does not remember that she hid those
clothes, or boxed them up and sent them away with us, or had other friends take
them to prevent them from being stolen. She has forgotten.
One day, it’s possible that I will forget just as my
mother has. But for now, dinner won’t wait and the tears collect, then fall. As
we walk back down the hall together, I lean down to her and quietly say, “I
love you mom.” She tells me she loves me more than I will ever know – and I can
be assured of that. For that moment, she was right there again.
I will spend as much time as I can with mom, and with my
mother- in -law. Love them where they are, while you can. Learn from the
experience of others, call your mom. You’ll be glad you did. God Bless.
A beautiful heartfelt story! Thanks for sharing a little bit of your Mom with us.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dave! We appreciate you and Sue more than we can say.
DeleteHow beautiful! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYou're most welcome! God Bless!
DeleteThis is truly AWESOME. Brought tears to my eyes! Beautifully written straight from the HEART!
ReplyDeleteIt's all too easy to let important time slip by isn't it? God Bless you and thanks for the note!
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